Iris
by Little Creature
Summary: [COMPLETE] One shot. The obsession.


Iris by: Little Creature

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or the song, blah, blah, blah…

-

**"And I'd give up forever to tough you**

**Cause I know that you feel me somehow."**

"Azarath. Metrion. Zynthos. Azarath. Metrion. Zynthos. Azarath…"

Her enchanting voice repeating the same group of words over and over, was music to his ears. He watched her float a foot above the ground, majestically; gracefully; beautifully. Her soft hair fell peacefully down her cheeks. Her eyes shut lightly, hiding their radiant violet color. Her cloak fell almost to the ground, caressing her every curve, hidden or bare. Her pale skin called out to his hand. So badly did he want to hold her. He longed to feel her connecting with him, on another level than what they already had. His heart ached to know she never even noticed him.

There they occupied the common room of the Titan's tower. Raven sat in front of the huge wall of window, facing the city, meditating. He, sat watching her from the couch, admiring her every move; or lack there of.

Of course she knew he was there. Raven always knew when someone was near. She felt their aura; their energy; their presence; their mind. Whether or not she knew he was watching, he was unaware. Either she knew and didn't care, or she didn't know. How could she not, though? It was part of her powers. The power that he so quietly admired… and silently admitted could outdo his own.

He let out a sigh, louder than he anticipated and he heard a break in her rhythmic chanting.

_Shit._ He cringed. Was she going to be pissed? Was she going to leave? _Don't leave,_ he pleaded within himself.

"Sorry." He said only slightly above a whisper. He squeezed his eyes shut dreading her callous response. But alas, it did not come.

Slowly her chanting continued. He let out a relieved breath, quietly this time, so as not to disturb the dark beauty. Her patience was limited, he knew.

**'You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be**

**And I don't want to go home right now.'**

The sun was setting, giving an orange glow to the room, washing upon her face, shimmering silently.

Where are the others? Not here. Don't care wear, as long as they're not there, interrupting his… obsession.

Obsession. Yes. Raven. Only Raven. Raven filled his heart and mind. Always. Being an observer, you'd think another, but there was no other. There would never be another. The heavens sent him Raven. The dark, mysterious Raven. The beautiful, lustrous Raven.

Raven was going to start getting annoyed, he knew, for he had been watching her, staring at her every movement, since she had started over a half hour ago. And Raven had adjusted herself a bit. A sign that she knew she was being watched. He had been watching her a lot lately, whether it be in the open or concealing himself in the shadows. And she knew. He knew she knew. For Raven knew more than meets the eye.

He had to break his gaze from her, but somehow could not. He was entranced. He inhaled her exotic scent that had carried its way over to the couch on which he sat. Her beauty was intoxicating.

**'All I can taste is this moment**

**And all I can breath is your life**

**Cause sooner or later its over**

**I just don't want to miss you tonight.'**

Again Raven adjusted. He knew he must look away if he wanted her to stay. He must. And he did, turning his head and closing his eyes. He felt his breath leave him. It was painful to break his gaze. He was only able to watch her during meditation without being questioned. He wasn't ready for everyone to know his feelings. They wouldn't understand. He didn't completely understand. But there was a true pain in his heart every time he was away from her. More than just in his heart, he felt it in his very soul.

_Why?_ He cried inside. _Why do you not see me?_

Suddenly he noticed the silence that had engulfed them from every direction.

_No. Tell me she's not finished. It's too soon. She meditates longer. Why didn't I look away sooner?_

Silences between them were never awkward. They share a special bond. Previous moments between them helped them have an unique relationship. They trusted each other more than the others on certain levels. But this silence sent chills down his spin. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"I thought you'd never stop watching me." Her voice traveled like a hum over to him, still in her casual monotone, but it was not covered in sarcasm. It was coated in… surprise?

"I… didn't mean… to make you… uncomfortable." His voice was shallow. He barely recognized it as his own.

"You're not." She said simply.

He looked up at her. Her head was turned facing him. Her face was expressionless, as she always kept it. But there was something he caught in her eyes before she turned away. Her meditation continued.

**'And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming**

**Or the moment of truth in your lies**

**When everything feels like the movies**

**Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive.'**

What was that he saw in her eyes? Could she possibly know of his crush… of his obsession? No. She would definitely be uncomfortable with him watching her, if she knew. If only she knew-

He let a single lone tear escape his eye and didn't bother to wipe it away. Everything inside him was calling to her. But she couldn't hear it. And he desperately needed her to hear it.

His heart was screaming to her so loudly, it made his head pound, causing him to get nauseous. Sweat starting pouring from his head. His eyesight was starting to blur. Dizziness began to consume him as the room spun, wildly, violently. He felt his blood pressure rise within him. His body was going haywire.

_Raven. Why can't you see me? Why can't you see that I need you? Raven…._

He swallowed as the pressure became too much. His lips formed the word 'Raven' but the sound never came out. Everything faded to black as his last pleads were left unheard for his fear of rejection.

**'And I don't want the world to see me**

**Cause I don't think that they'd understand**

**When everything's made to be broken**

**I just want you to know who I am.'**

There were dark swirls dancing in front of his eyes. Spinning. Slowly coming into focus. The hand propping his head up was gentle, like silk.

"Are you alright?"

_That voice. My love._ He opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. There were three or four heads revolving in front of him, gradually combining into one. Still in the common room, but now on the floor. On his back with his head resting in one of Raven's small, soft hands that rested on her lap as she knelt down on the floor. Her other had ran a cool cloth over his forehead.

"A warning would be nice next time you're not feeling well."

Her voice wasn't mean but he felt foolish none-the-less.

"Sorry." He muttered, not making an attempt to move.

He felt his skin flush. He must look really pathetic.

Raven only smiled slightly- at his misfortune he guessed.

"Maybe you should get some rest." Though still in monotone, her voice was kind.

Slowly, and not wanting to, he sat up. His hand went immediately to his head. It was pounding severely. _What's wrong with me?_

"Drink this." Raven shoved a glass to him full of clear liquid.

"What's this?" He noticed how weak his voice sounded.

"Water. You're dehydrated."

Again he felt his face get hot with embarrassment. He drank the water. Every drop. _I'm not dehydrated. I'm overdosed._

"Feel better?"

He nodded, lying completely. He felt the same. Slowly bleeding inside. He needed her to help him breath. He needed her… in every way, shape and form.

Raven mimicked his movement. Standing up, she took the cup and the cloth to the kitchen, talking to him as she did so.

"Now you should get some rest." She repeated.

He climbed to his feet and felt the dizziness return. He ran his hand through his hair, messaging his head._ What a headache…_ Fighting back the gravity that was trying to pull him down, he began to make his way toward the door that exited to the hallway eventually leading to his room.

Raven rounded the corner and watched him walk.

"Thank you." He muttered. _You are my angle. My dark angle._

Raven nodded and headed back to the window, retaking her previous position.

The sun was completely down now. Moonlight washed through the window, cascading the whole room in an eerie blue light. The light seemed to add an enchanting glow to the room.

Her voice filled the room once again, becoming the only sound. It was as soothing as a lullaby, trying to coax him to sleep.

He walked to the doorway out of the moonlight and turned. He was still silently calling out to her. Begging for her to hear him; to acknowledge him.

He watched her silently in the shadows, once again.

**'I don't want the world to see me**

**Cause I don't think that they'd understand**

**When everything's made to be broken**

**I just want you to know who I am**

**I just want you to know who I am.'**

She seemed to be quieter this time. Her voice soft. Her delicate features glistened in the moonlight.

He wanted nothing more than to be in her arms again. He wanted to run his hand through her hair. He wanted to feel her heartbeat against his chest. He wanted to experience her body against his, her thin lips pressed to his, her hands on his body and entwined with his own. He wanted to hold her in his arms until the sun came up, and still when it did, he wasn't sure he would be able to let her go.

The room went silent again.

"I know you're still here."

He said nothing. Only held his breath. Now she was going to get testy with him.

"Ya know, the floor's further away if you pass out again. If you insist on watching me, sit."

He did as he was told. He sat right where he was standing. He propped his back against the wall. During this whole movement, his eyes never left her form.

If she had started to chant again, it was too quiet to hear.

**'I just want you to know who I am**

**I just want you to know who I am**

**I just want you to know who I am.'**

A hot tear streaked his face and he squeezed his eyes shut yet again.

His breathing got heavier. Things started to blur once more. _No. Calm down._ He struggled to regulate his breathing. He had to regain control. He was not one to lose it so easily, and here tonight, he was in the process of breaking down for the second time. _Breath deep. In…. Out… In… Out…In…_

Regaining what little composure he had, he opened his eyes to see Raven three feet in front of him sitting cross-legged on the floor. Her look was of concern; her eyes unreadable.

"You seem… distracted. Is everything ok?"

He swallowed hard. "I'm ok." The words barely escaped his lips. His own voice shaky.

Her eyes narrowed and a frown formed. "Normally I wouldn't be asking, but since you've been watching me for a while now…(her thoughts slipped and seemed to skip gears) I figured it calmed you, relaxed you, helped you to think like it does me. So I never questioned it. Tonight your energy is spilling out of you, causing your weakness. In my experience, this only occurs when your mind wont quit, wont give in, is determined to find something – like Slade. But I know this is different. You have no rage. Just…"

Her voice trailed off. She reached for his mask but stopped short. Again he swallowed hard.

"…confusion. (A small paused formed here) Talk to me. After all that we've been through together, you know you can trust me."

Another swallow. _I just… want you… to know who I am. Know how I feel._

Raven's eyes were deep, but not hallow. They held so much. He could see her beautiful soul. Knowing if he removed his mask she would see all his inner turmoil. His pride, his hurt, contempt, longing, love, hate, his obsession, her.

"You don't have to tell me." She didn't sound hurt, but she may have been. Her voice covers her feelings well.

Slowly she started to get up. He grabbed her hand, pulling her back to his level.

"I…" _want you to know me, notice me, see me as I see you, know who I am. _"I…"

Raven sat.

His breath started to speed up and sweat formed.

"I know what you're feeling."

He stopped completely and held his breath. "You… you do?"

"Well, sort of. Without going into your mind, I feel your aura is off. It's throwing off… heat. Want. And something else I haven't been able to identify yet."

He hadn't released her hand and that must have been what made her realize what he wanted. What he was longing for.

Her eyes widened. The couch behind her rose off the ground. Raven closed her eyes and some how made it collapse with a soft thump.

She took a deep breath. "You know I can't love you. Why did you let this happen?" Her voice stayed as steady as it ever was. She had way too much control over that. It made it so hard to read her. He cursed his lack of power of his own.

"You can't help who you fall in love with." His voice was shaky and a bit too fierce than he meant it to sound.

"You should have tried." She was pleading with him. He heard it.

"You don't think I did?" He let a quiver out.

"You can't love me. You deserve someone who can return your love. Someone who can love you too. Someone to be happy with. You deserve to be happy. (she had been stern in her first few sentences, but the last one came out with sorrow) I can't give you any of that."

"Just let me love you." He said defiantly. He was defeated and his worse fear realized. _She doesn't love me._

"I cant. Not when I see what it's doing to you." Her monotone had broken a little, though she had tried to regain it.

"I'm happy loving you." He tried to stand his ground and fight back the tears and the pain that was trying to show its ugly face.

"No you're not." Her voice was dark, almost as if she was trying to convince herself of something.

"I am. I love you, Raven. And there is nothing you can do or say about it." He said it all louder than he meant to. He saw her want to back up, but she was just as stubborn as he. "Nothing's going to change my mind." Now it was soft.

Raven bit her lip and watched him intently.

He was struggling to fight back tears. Around them, objects were flying, covered in black orbs of energy. Her eyes were hard to read still. They were a little misty, though they may have appeared that way from his own. Tears were burning, threatening to escape.

Raven stood.

"Don't leave." He pleaded.

"I have to. It's too hard." She now sounded defeated.

"So things get hard and you just turn your back on them?" He tried not to sound too brutal, but his heart was being ripped out of him slowly. And it hurt. So much.

"No. It's hard keeping things from exploding. Look around you. Don't you see? See why I can't love you? I can destroy the tower… the whole city… not intentionally… if I don't keep my emotions under control. Love being the most powerful, imagine what that could do. Try to understand." There was hurt in her tone but it was smothered in anger at his assumption.

Things were shaking violently in the air, ready, willing to explode, shred and fall to their deaths.

He stopped fighting the tears and let them fall freely from behind his mask. He nodded in defeat. For everyone's sake, she could not love him. He sat with a broken heart. His stomach churned, threatening to vomit. His head spun.

She was almost a whole foot away from exiting the room. "Robin…"

He looked to her. A single tear streamed down her cheek.

"I only said I cant love you… (there was a short pause as she considered her next words)… I never said I don't love you." The last words came out barely above a whisper.

Before she left the room, she stood with her eyes closed, silently placing the furniture and all the common room contents back in their original position. Amazingly, most of everything stayed in tact. One lone mug shattered, but that's minor. Without another look to him, she left.

Robin's breath was steady once more. His face tear-stained. But somehow he was at peace again. His heart not quit whole, but though she didn't come out and say it, she loved him too. That was the flash he saw in her eyes. Tears still fell but he was not in hysterics anymore.

_There's nothing you can do to stop me; I'm going to love you, Raven. And maybe one day, you_ _will be able to love me too, openly, without destroying everyone and everything around us. I'll wait. Forever, if need be. I'll wait._


End file.
